Twenty-five years ago I started writing a series of letters to my grandson Jack who was then two years old. Maybe some things have changed with time, but then again perhaps not.
Dear Jack,
We are getting ready for Christmas. You are coming up to us with your Mum and Dad and sisters. Every year you come to us. There was one exception when we decided to have a quiet Christmas because your Mum decided to go to her in-laws for a change. That was the most boring Christmas we ever spent! So, despite the fact that our house will look like a corporation tip when you have all been in it for five minutes, we are still looking forward to having you.
The words, “getting ready for Christmas”, conjure up excitement and the thrill of taking part in the family re-union and going to church to midnight mass and carol services.
There is the nursery-school nativity play to anticipate, where we can come and watch you taking your part as a shepherd. This year your Grandma made you a shepherd’s cloak and hood of many colours. We went with you and your Dad to the church near your school to see you with infant angels and animals and Joseph and Mary and, believe it or not, a real baby who took the part of Jesus.
There were all the proud parents with their cameras, and the teachers gathering the children round them. And there was you, sitting on your Grandma’s lap, refusing not only not to be dressed as a shepherd, but in fact to have nothing to do with the proceedings whatsoever.
No-one really knows what goes on in a little boy’s mind at such moments, but I like to think you were clever enough not to want to go through life being a shepherd, and so there was no point in starting off as one in the first place!
‘The spirit of Christmas’ conveys tolerance and kindness. But, there are annual activities to be undertaken before we arrive at Christmas itself, which can affect this ‘spirit’.
Firstly we have - that is your grandma and me - a discourse on the choice of Christmas tree. When I tell you that we have been the possessors of an artificial silver-coloured tinsel tree for years, you may wonder why it is necessary to discuss the matter at all!
Well, you see, your mother does not like artificial Christmas trees. Like me, your mum is sometimes illogical. Tearing-up trees by their roots or cutting them down with chain-saws does not seem at conflict with her enlightened views on the ecological troubles that inflict us all at present. The discussion is necessary therefore, because it is a step to avoiding any area of conflict that might arise when families assemble at Christmas.
You would be surprised how many areas of conflict can arise after a couple of bottles of claret with Christmas dinner!
Your Grandma’s aversion to ‘real’ Christmas trees has nothing to do with the environment, other than that existing in the house, caused by the needles from the dying tree falling onto the floor and being found in every corner of every room until next March. You can even find them in sandwiches if you are unlucky!
Deciding between the views of your mum and your grandma is a question of compromise. Last year we had a ‘real’ tree - this year we are having the artificial one.
That all the tinsel falls off the tree and is found in every room until next March - and in sandwiches if you are unlucky - does not seem to worry your grandma too much.
I have to go up into the loft to bring down the decorations and the tinsel Christmas tree. This involves fetching the ladder from the garage, breaking the ceiling lamp fitting in the porch with the ladder, scraping the paint on the wall as I carry the ladder upstairs, and banging my knuckles on something in the loft as I pull out the boxes and bags of decorations needed to decorate the house.
A Christmas tree is not a tree without ‘fairy’ lights. They are strung on electric flex. The objective is to place them on the tree in a reasonably acceptable pattern so that people who come into the house can say: “what a pretty Christmas tree”.
As a piece of advice for the future, please remember to plug in the lights before you fix them to the tree to ensure that the bulbs all light up. After you have done this, you can fix them to the tree, which takes a lot more than the ten minutes you thought it would take. At last they are all in place. You turn on the lights - and of course they don't work. Bulb by bulb, you tighten each one and replace the fuse in the plug and they still do not light up. It is then you check the wiring to find that one piece has broken. Back to the garage to find the soldering-iron and, about two hours later, if you are as good at ‘do-it-yourself’ as I am, the wire is repaired and - surprise, surprise, the lights work!
Stringing up the decorations is somewhat easier - well, almost. You will need a box of drawing-pins and a step ladder. Drawing-pins are designed either to slip out of your hands at the crucial moment of pinning them to the ceiling, or to bend in half when you push them into the ceiling. After a few years the ceiling has enough holes to enable you to know where the drawing-pins fit. The only trouble here is that when you push the drawing-pins into existing holes they fall out again. Step-ladders are designed never to reach the corner you want to get into. You can find dropped drawing-pins by kneeling on them, putting your hand on them, or standing on them.
It is at this time that your grandmother discovers that she has forgotten something of importance in the way of food for Christmas that she just has to go out to buy. Her departure is accompanied by such sayings as:
“I see you are in the Christmas spirit then!”
This is mainly due to the fact that language accompanying the preparations for Christmas is not entirely apt for the occasion. This is also the time for well worn phrases to be repeated from previous Christmases.
“We’ll have a proper tree next year.”
“We’ll spend Christmas in a hotel next year.” “I hate Christmas.”
None of it is meant of course. We still look forward to the day itself. Opening the presents, of which you will have many, is exciting for all of us. That you will probably spend much of the time playing with the boxes and the wrapping is of little consequence. It is the fact that we are all together that is important.
The sceptics will say that this is not what Christmas is about. But it is, because, it was the gathering of families that gave rise to Jesus being born in Bethlehem. Even this is only of importance if you remember that your family, for all its faults, is something worth having and being part of. Opening presents is an indication of finding kindness from others, who have thought about you before Christmas and tried to discover what it is that would make you happy.
When we left you after the nativity play, in which you didn’t play, you cried: “I want my Grandma!”
She didn’t want you to cry, but she was happy that more than anything else, you wanted your Grandma.
Merry Christmas Jack!
Grandad
Footnote. 25 years on the 'fairy' lights worked when plugged in. When draped on the tree they did not. Nor did they after two hours trying new bulbs and fuses. Keeping up with the times we now have battery powered lights from Maplins. I recommend them.
